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Making my New Year’s resolutions

By Chuck Hunt - Editor | Jan 4, 2021

I don’t usually make New Year’s resolutions. OK, the truth is that I pretty much never make New Year’s resolutions.

But, this year is different. Different in so many ways, I hardly know where to start. So I think this is the year where I will give it a try. Here goes.

• This year I resolve to be more tolerant of my fellow mankind. And womankind, too. I don’t really think of myself as a prejudiced person, but deep down I know that I am. My prejudice mainly is I am not tolerant of those who are lazy, inept and incapable. Here is an example.

The Minnesota Vikings seemed to me to be lazy, inept and incapable during last week’s game against the New Orleans Saints. Especially the defense.

And, I told them so repeatedly during the game in no uncertain terms, using some language I am not particularly proud of.

Granted, I was yelling at the TV, so the players could not actually hear me. However, my wife could, and told me to get over it. I’m not sure that is possible. I mean, the defense gave up 52 points, the most in Vikings history. Those Purple People Eaters of years past must be wondering what has happened to this vaunted defense of yore.

I know I sure am.

But still, I resolve this year to be a little more tolerant of those who are inept.

Besides, I may have judged the Vikings defensive players too harshly. I mean, it was Christmas Day. And they were playing a team called the Saints.

Perhaps the Vikings players were filled with the Christmas spirit, and were actually giving the Saints a Christmas gift. Maybe they decided to give Saints running back Alvin Kamara the ultimate gift, and stood aside to let him run free and untouched and score six running touchdowns to tie an NFL record that has stood for nearly a hundred years. I bet other NFL teams were on the phone right after the game trying to get to be the team that will play the Vikings on Christmas Day 2021.

• This year I resolve to be a little less snarky. Yes, snarky. It’s a word: you could look it up. I did. It means critical or mocking in an indirect or sarcastic way.

I have this bad habit of saying or writing things I think are pretty clever and maybe even humorous, but others think are just plain snarky. Let me give you an example. The first part of this column, where I call the Vikings inept, and then explain they were just being nice and giving the other team a Christmas gift, is a prime example.

That was being snarky. Because I actually do think they are inept, and I was being critical of them in a sarcastic way.

I realize that after more than 50 years of being snarky I can’t go cold turkey and totally give it up, so I just resolve to be a little more judicious in my snarkiness.

Except when it comes to the Vikings.

• This year I resolve to get more exercise. I actually believe I do get quite a bit of exercise, every day. I mean, I do a lot of keyboarding (once called typing) at the office to exercise my fingers. I get up and walk to the break room to refill my coffee cup. I sometimes get busy “chasing down” news tips at work.

OK, actually I do get a lot of exercise in spring, summer and fall, but not so much in the winter, other than shoveling snow. So I am going to amend this resolution to getting more exercise in the winter.

I wonder if those Vikings have made resolutions to get into better shape so they don’t stink up the field so bad next time they are on national TV.

Goodness knows, they now have the whole rest of the winter to get into shape for next year. (Yes, I know, there is still another Vikings game this season. Who the heck cares? By the way, another meaning of snarky is bad-tempered or irritable.)

• This year I resolve to write inspiring stories, take awesome photos, and do everything in my power to give you the best newspaper we can. In other words, to do the best I can at my job.

I wonder if the Minnesota Vikings players and staff want to make a similar resolution for all of their fans, while they still have a few.

And one more thing.

• This year I resolve to work at writing this column before the final, last minute, drop-dead deadline, which is my usual modus operandi.

OK, nobody here at the Register believes this resolution will last more than a week, if that.

No wonder I never bother to make any New Year’s resolutions.