Kids really do say the darndest things. But, the thing is, they usually say them at an age when they will never remember what it is they said. Luckily, that's where the parents and siblings step in to keep the embarrassment alive.
At family gatherings or when meeting a prospective significant other, these little stories come out of the woodworks.
A few of my own childhood slipups were brought to my attention recently, so I thought I'd share the most embarrassing ones with you. You can thank me later.
Keep in mind, I don't remember most of these, but this is what I've been told I have said or done. From the sounds of it, most of these happened when I was in kindergarten or even younger.
I'm not even going to pretend that I can rank these in order of embarrassment level, so I'll leave that judgment to you.
An amusing anecdote my mom enjoys telling involves bubbles.
Apparently, one time my mom and I were blowing bubbles in the garage. The phone rang, so my mom went to answer it. According to her, when she came back I had a horrible look on my face. So, naturally, she knew I probably drank some of the bubbles.
Me being the innocent little kid that I was, said, "Yes" when asked if I had in fact drunk some of the bubbles. As that word came out of my mouth, a giant bubble formed at my lips and popped in my face.
My mom will always tell that story, even though she says it would have been funnier if I had said, "No."
Approximately preschool-aged me was sitting on my grandpa's lap one day.
He has a rather large belly and it's more round than anything, akin to a pregnant belly. So, being a smart (not trying to be a smart-aleck) kid, I asked him innocently enough, "Do you have a baby growing in there?" while poking his tummy to make sure everyone knew where I was meaning.
Needless to say, that situation was more embarrassing to my grandpa than to me since I didn't know any better at that age. I obviously knew where babies came from, but hadn't quite mastered the concept that they only grow in mommy's belly and that it's not a privilege that boys get.
I admit some of the more entertaining stories that run in my family star my sisters, but there are a few others that I will relate to you that have me in the leading role.
This one my mom just told me about, so I can't go into too much detail because she had never told me the story before. But, from the sounds of it, I found my dad's jock strap at some point and said the words, "Well, I know it's not a hat!"
And, finally, one of my favorite stories, because I actually remember doing it.
It was Thanksgiving or Christmas and we were all gathered at my grandparents' house. I had already picked out my spot at the dinner table when I was told we needed to do something in the living room.
I announced to all, "This is my spot!"
Someone, I believe it was my dad or maybe even an uncle, said something along the lines of, "What makes you think so?"
At that, I picked up the spoon at my place, licked it and put it back down again. "There!"
They were speechless.
And now, you all know most of the embarrassing moments I had as a child. Maybe tonight over the dinner table, you can share some of your favorite embarrassing moments as a child with your family.